** I'm not sure if I edited the last one or not, but I've left this one alone. If you are offended easily by cuss words or graphic adult content, as opposed to everything else on this crappy little blog of mine, then avert your eyes, or you too will be condemned to Hell with all the other horrible sinners around the world: Gays, Strippers, Muslims, Rockers, Rappers, Single Mothers, everyone working at Comedy Central, and, of course, Democrats. **
"I went to take a pis in the public restroom in Mark's house when I caught him taking a shit and reading some porno called "The Wall Street Journal" so I headbutted him with the football helmet that I just happened to be wearing then I went to help him up, but I was really just extending my hand to shove a drillbit through his ribcage and tie his carcass to a rope to swing from the top of a building while I was setting the place on fire, and calling in to the local radio station to tell them they suck ass, because I was listening to it at like 10:43 and they were playing some song about love or mattress springs or whatever and if I wanted to hear bullshit about love, I would pay a whore to paint my front porch, but I wouldn't do that anymore because the last time I did that her parrot attacked me and tried to peck my eyes out and I lost my watch in the Canadian Civil war reanactment. Good job for fucking up my entire day, Mark. I have to remember to throw hot lard in your eyes the next time I go to the burger barn and you fuck up my order. How hard is it to double fry my potato skins you simp. I like them extra crispy like your mom's sundried lips. And you know who also likes crispy food? Star Jones. She wonders why she goes to the beach and the water is green. "Oh it wasn't green before I got in? Sorry, it must have been my cavernous vagina. God I hate Japanese. Fuck you."
