Golden Sun, I am disappoint.

I was a little disappointed with Golden Sun: Dark Dawn. Seven years after The Lost Age was released, and all GS3 brings to the table is better graphics. Camelot is the video game developer who gave me Shining Force 1 and 2, and they certainly didn't disappoint with the first two Golden Sun titles. Perhaps too many golf and tennis projects have turned their brains to mush. As the third half (ignoring logic) of the story goes, everything takes place thirty years later. Things seem to occur most frequently in numbers divisible by ten, ensuring that the next group of adventurers would be old enough for fappable fan art, but not too old to be adults, because adults saving the world would just be stupid. I'm not a fan of the time jump in sequels. It usually becomes an excuse to explain everything over again in the form of teaching the new characters about all the basic stuff they need to know for their upcoming journey. I was treated to all the yawn-inducing lectures of Issac and Garet as they accompanied me through the terrifying woods filled with leaf bats and the iconic blue slimes that like to inhabit the weakest spots in all JRPGs.

"Um... Mr. Slime, is it? We need you to not smile during the battle. Oh, no no no! It's a great smile, but, you know, we don't want Enix to sue us."

I especially enjoyed the parts where Garet began overreacting to how I moved a block that was in front of me and applied fire to a plant. 

This whole bit in Goma Plateau and Tanglewood is a long-winded tutorial for those who never played the other two games in the series. It's also punishment for those of us who did. See, it's all unavoidable. Garet even tells you how to use the aptly-named psynergy Move after you've already figured out how with the first block that you shoved into the hole that was perfectly shaped to fit it, while terrific father figure Isaac watches his kid jump across these pits, ignoring the "what if..." situation of Matthew missing a step and falling to his death. There's also the tutorial about the djinn, an encyclopedia, Sun Saga issues to collect, and even a training course that summarizes the other two games in the form of an obstacle course, because everything else I mentioned, along with the introduction that began right after you ignored changing Matthew's name (which loops at the title screen), just wasn't enough hand holding.

I would like to point out that the script, much like my blog, is rather verbose. I wouldn't mind if all the chatter was actually worth reading (kinda like a subtitled episode of Kitanagatari), but it's just your usual "blah blah" storyline with little more than that to maintain the player's interest. Occasionally, you get to choose one of four emotional responses to answer someone, but it doesn't always provide a reply you were expecting, and none of them will alter how the conversation will continue.

It was so dull at the start of my journey that I barely made it to the 30-minute marker before saving and turning off the DS to find something else to occupy my time. Eventually, I'd pick up where I left off, and, within another 30 minutes, grow tired of it again. Midway into the game, however, I began putting in some legitimate effort. When I found myself sailing around to various islands for a bit of side-questing I grew world-weary. At that point, I actually put the game down and played those Yu-Gi-Oh! titles I bitched blogged about earlier.

I put so little effort into combat. All mobs were beaten with simple attacks. Once in a while, I'd stop and heal. Repeat when necessary. Bosses were essentially an onslaught of summon spells at the start, then use Djinn until I could cast summons again. Chaos Chimera and Dullahan were the only exceptions to all of this. It was after I lost twice to the chimera that I began to realize that I hadn't bothered to do anything with the crafting material, nor had I bought any other basic equipment to replace the low-level bits I had found in chests throughout the game. Once my junk was up to snuff, that thing didn't even merit a Water of Life. Dullahan, however, is an evil bitch. Abilities such as Charon and Condemn tend to succeed at the worst moments, dropping my party members right when I get things together. After a bit of research, it seems he follows a simple attack pattern and can be defeated by a low-level group so long as one pours all his strength into Matthew and knows when to use defensive Djinn, like Ivy, Shell, and Doldrum. What I found to be more interesting was reading about how he is considered to be more powerful in Golden Sun: The Lost Age. I didn't have any problems against him in the second game. When I thought about why, I could only speculate that it was because I was actually interested in the previous sequel. Here, I just wanted it done so I could collect my summon tablet of Iris the Goddess of (Puking) Rainbows.

"Taste the painbow, mortals!"

I bought this game out of respect for the series, and a desire to see how the next part of the story would play out, but Dark Dawn just isn't all that impressive. The characters lack any sort of charisma, the story is just a long, boring read, and the new psynergy abilities Slap, Thermal, Track, and Third Eye added little to nothing to the (non-existent) complexity of the puzzles. 

So cryptic! How will I ever figure out... already done. 

It's a mediocre addition to something that was an amazing throwback to the glory days of RPGs on the SNES. It felt like Camelot stripped Dark Dawn of this and just made it pretty. I appreciate the visuals, especially the animation of the summons, but not at the cost of everything else. Even the box art is kinda blah. The cover of its instruction manual is much better, and I can't believe it wasn't used instead. You're online right now. Look up the box art for the first two games and compare it to that of Dark Dawn. I know, don't judge a book by it's cover, but this is the sequel to something that hadn't been around for seven years. Trying to grab the attention of those who may not have played the previous Golden Sun games starts with that cover. Even I stop to look at titles that catch my eye, and, in a few cases, have purchased them. Still, there is something about seeing Matthew on that box that reminds me of greatness...

"I'm not just a boring main character... I'm A SUPER BORING MAIN CHARACTER!"

If I was to score this game, it would be a number out of a bigger number, and I'm being generous about that. 

On a positive note, I adore Sveta. She reminds me of my first video game crush:

Katt's the muscle in the party, speaks her mind without qualm, and she wears no pants. What's not to love?

Dark Dawn's ending doesn't go into any sort of detail about the psynergy vortexes, so I'm going to assume the adventure will continue with them in the fourth game. Perhaps there will be a similar connection between it and Dark Dawn as there was with Golden Sun and The Lost Age. I want to hope I won't have to imput another super fucking long password, but, since I have no friends, I doubt there will be an alternative for me to transfer the information. When it does arrive, the game better be more difficult. The hardest thing I had to deal with in Dark Dawn was trying to stay awake through the conversations. 

It's still a better sequel than Bomberman: Act Zero, for what little that's worth, which tried to bring a new "look" to the Bomberman series.

Even the characters wanted nothing to do with it. 

To be fair, the game isn't really as bad as I seem to make it out to be. It's just not all that good, either. It certainly doesn't do anything befitting the franchise. I want to compare GS3's situation to how Chrono Cross could never live up to Chrono Trigger's success, but I saw the effort put into making Cross. In its own right, Cross is still a great game. Dark Dawn, on the other hand, is a garden-variety RPG that is easy on the eyes.

Whine to go with the Cheese I Slice

Enjoying a few blog entries from other people about their bad experiences with the staff at various places, so if they can be childish online, why not I?

I won't speak for other grocery stores. Even within the same supermarket chain, your experiences with the staff will vary based upon the set-up of the department, the expectations placed upon it by management, and, of course, the mind-set of each worker (a.k.a. "grunt"), which will shillyshally during the times one is alone and when one is coadjuting with other grunts. There are other factors to consider as well, such as the time of the day, the time of the year, and the stability of the person's emotions. If you are expecting impeccable service on a Saturday afternoon during a holiday weekend from someone who has been having a rough day, then you're still enjoying the ignorance of having never worked a minimum wage job. Problems arise all the time, but even when things are running smoothly, it doesn't take much for a single consumer to toss a spanner into the works, creating a domino effect of setbacks. In the best interests of everyone, I try to encourage people to come into our store with reasonable expectations and a flexible attitude to help us provide you with a positive shopping experience. For the rest of this entry, I will be addressing the common peeves that seem to deteriorate the disposition of many of my colleagues. This isn't to say one won't receive proper attention from one of us, but there are certainly benefits that our preferred customers will occasionally (not always!) receive.

The two major issues are the business model of most of our departments and how the employees handle it. In hopes of maximizing profit, the workload is meant to have each employee in a constant state of busyness. When everything is done the way we are trained and expected to do it, there is no time to help a customer. This might sound odd, because it's certainly not true for the front-end. The first job to come to mind when one thinks of a grocery store is typically the cashier or bagger, and the bulk of the work for those two positions is to handle your purchases. They also deal with the carts out in the parking lot, cleaning the bathrooms, returning items left by people who decided against paying for them, and a few other odd jobs, like shucking corn, but when called back to the registers, they stop what their doing to comply. That's them. For the rest of us in the other departments, we are provided with enough to do to keep everyone busy so as to not waste any of the company's time with standing around or goofing off. As one particularly odious individual who ran my department used to say, "If you've got time to lean, then you've got time to clean." If anyone needs assistance, it's up to each person to be able to handle the manner swiftly so as to not fall behind on other duties. Obviously, if the workload is meant to occupy the entirety of a shift, then trying to handle customers is going to become difficult once in a while. "IF everything is done the way we are trained and expected to do it" ...for minimum wage, this is not the sort of thing to expect out of a grunt. With many of us (not me, of course) cutting corners, we'll have more time to service our clients. On the other hand, don't expect the greatest of... anything. If Lennie Small the deli clerk is half-assing his duties behind the counter, then it's a sure bet that he's half-assing his ability to service you, as well. The job is accessible to anyone over the age of eighteen, so it doesn't matter if your education ended in middle school, but I've been working at my store for five years now, and I've seen plenty of book smart people who couldn't figure out the three sink method for washing dishes, let alone understand how to rotate our product. Then again, my department has also enjoyed the company of morons who had to learn firsthand, with their hand, that the big spinning blade on the slicer is sharp while others had to be reminded that if the cookie label says "12-ct..." on it, then it's probably safe to assume that a dozen of them should be in that container. Basically, this is not meant for everyone. Just because anyone can get the job, it doesn't mean they possess the competence to keep it. Think Reversi. Anyone can learn to play, but being good at it is a different matter. Trying to find a balance between preparation and interaction is tricky, especially during holidays, weekends, and those times when your area is short-staffed and you're forced to pick up the slack.

Another issue is with the amensalistic nature behind seniority and the lack of responsibility associated with it. I've seen it more than a few times. An individual has worked for a decade or two and they feel entitled. It's not that they will try to intentionally make your job harder, but there are things they no longer deem worthy of their attention. This only becomes an issue for the shopper as the younger employees grow increasingly bitter about their situation. Cheerful, somewhat eager to learn idiots start to grumble, slack, and many of them eventually quit without warning. Again, I've seen this happen, and it's kinda sad to watch that work ethic turn to shit because of those moments when the support they were expecting from the rest of our department isn't there. As a side note, for those of you wondering about our training, it's kept at a minimum for two reasons.

The first is explained above. Those with experience have no desire to share it. My entire training in the bakery was to play a game of Memory by matching breads to figure out the numbers for their labels. The next day, the person who "trained" me with this sentence-long bit of instructions complained that I didn't get much done. I believe her exact words were, "Did he even do anything yesterday?" On a related note, don't call a bitch "a bitch" to her face or you'll have to go upstairs and hear a lecture about how one shouldn't be disrespectful to bitches. Another possibility places the blame on the rookies. "I don't do..." is a common response I hear while trying to teach some newbie. I just laugh at them and reiterate what they are going to do, but for the older ones in our department, there's a lack of patience to deal with someone who either won't learn willingly or is a little slow and requires more time to understand.

The second is due to the high turnover. Why spend precious company time and money educating someone who is probably going to leave within the first year of employment? I've had plenty of customers pick at me about it. My very first day included an old woman wearing one of those forced smiles while being roundabout with the way she was trying to tell me I should stop what I was doing and learn how to work another department for the sake of serving her. This is a rather common thing, too. They find the nearest person in a uniform and start asking questions either unrelated to the department or about something unusual, like how much it would cost and how long it would take to prepare a fruit tray using only "tropical" fruits, or they demand help with something that an employee may have no idea how to do. Ideally, everyone working in a grocery store knows everything about the grocery store, but if you actually take a moment to consider such a notion, it's rather absurd logic to accept. Using myself as an example, the entirety of my shift is spent in the same work station, either frying and baking cluckers in a variety of shapes, or I'm darting between three slicers and the cooler behind them. At what point would one expect me to memorize the layout of all the aisles, know the difference in taste of farm raised and wild caught fish, and be able to prepare an appropriate bouquet of flowers for a 73-year-old woman who just got out of knee surgery? It would be like a mother going into a hospital and asking the oncologist to explain why her child farts so much while he sleeps. Unless it's a result of irregular and uncontrollable cell growth, that gassy brat will probably be sent to a different specialist to have his pooter peeped at. All I can say (or type rather) is that a customer needs to have patience. If one of us doesn't have an answer, we can usually direct you to someone who does. As for more training, it can take years for someone in our store to learn something new. Some do know a little about everything, but, as I see it, it's because they don't quite "fit" anywhere in the store. A person who performs poorly in one area is moved around until he finds a job he can do without being too much of a burden to the others in that particular spot. Taking this into consideration, it might be better to wait for a person who is only trained for one or two roles.

Moving on to other issues:
Selection. Even within the same chain, what is sold varies from store to store. What sells here might not sell there. Sounds kinda obvious, right? Had a woman ask for Black Diamond Cheddar Cheese the other day. Our deli carries it in a wedge, but not in the spreadable form found in cups that she was wanting. Some, usually the newer and larger stores, in our chain do have it on the sales floor. Wedges of the brand do reasonably well at ours, but the cups, for whatever reason, do not. It's fine to ask for what you want, but don't get fussy if the specific type of product you desire isn't available, and, please, don't have an attitude about it. We hear enough tantrums from the children who don't want to be in there. "This is a huge mistake! You people need to fix this, because..." Businesses are trying to make money. If what you want isn't selling to anyone but you, then carrying it is bad business. In fact, if the product was found at another store, what we can do is request an order of it. It might take a few days, maybe even a week, to receive it, but it is possible. If the box we order continues to be a loss, we won't order it again until more request it. Believe me or not, that's your only option, and it's no guarantee, even if we can order it. This is especially true during times when a particular item is on sale. Part of an order can be scratched leaving us with nothing until the next truck arrives. "Why promote something in the paper if you don't have any of it to sell?" Because what we had sold out and what we ordered didn't come in. It happens.

Service. "The customer is always right" is a phrase I still hear, and I still don't understand why so many people actually believe that means they can treat the employees like garbage. When I was a teenager, I was already aware of the fact that this didn't literally mean I could do no wrong as a shopper. How come other adults haven't figured this out? Because a common grocery store caters to the general public, it's going to provide basic stuff in a wide variety based primarily upon what the average person buys. There are a few niche items, but nothing too extravagant. At least once a week, someone calls my department and tests the bounds of what we can and cannot do. There's about thirty different kinds of sandwiches we offer. The problem is someone has to walk over to our deli counter and demand a creation that utilizes an assortment of flavors that a Subway or a Jimmy John's could most likely provide, but, for a reasonable price, we cannot. Pulling bottles of specific condiments off the sales floor, along with a loaf of a particular type of bread, slicing the desired meats and cheeses, and doing so at that very moment is expensive and time-consuming. It wouldn't be if enough people requested sandwiches to use up all of what we opened. The remainder of what was use for that order is almost always thrown away as an overall loss in profit, as well as being a giant waste of food. Sometimes, we can't even do that much, either because we don't have what they want, or because we know we have run out of it. I spoke with a lady (and I use the term loosely) over the phone wanting aquamarine-colored icing. I told her we have blue. She wanted the message on the cake to be perfectly written in the middle, the decorations in certain spots, and was making sure to grumble while telling me all of this. No matter. I took the order and repeated it until she agreed that all the information was correct, but not without adding one last grumble about how it should be aquamarine. When she picked it up, she took it up front, told customer service it wasn't the color she wanted and got it for free. I'm glad I wasn't notified of this until after she had left, or I would have gone up front to plead my case. I may be in the right, but we're suppose to play guilty at all times. Don't actually apologize, but don't disagree with them, either.

At other times, we're trained not to do something. There's no number in the system to ring it up, and charging it as something else can complicate inventories and arouse suspicion from management about potentially helping friends or family by giving them unjustified discounts. When someone new comes into our department, one of the things I make sure to teach them is to be wary of the requests some will make. Old people are particularly manipulative. While marking down items out on the sales floor, I've had more than a few of them talk to me about their fixed incomes and the costs of medication or medical attention, and then it seems like I can help alleviate them of these problems by knocking off an additional twenty cents or reducing a pastry or loaf of bread that is suppose to be sold at full price for another day or two. Others will purposely share unfavorable opinions and comments in order to goad the worker into saying something to get himself in trouble while customer service gives them free food as an apology. It doesn't matter who is right or wrong. "Give the baby his/her bottle and go back to work" is how we usually handle things. A manager might even insult us in front of the customer, then, as the person leaves with their spoils, the manager will turn around, talk nice to us again, and remind us that it's only business. This has happened to me twice, and, in both events, it left me with a sour attitude the remainder of the shift. Keep that in mind. If you try anything dubious, you'll likely get what you want, but it'll leave a bad impression upon yourself, because we will remember people who give us a hard time in front of management. This is also true for those who intentionally try to be difficult with an order. There are restrictions on what a typical grocery store can do, and the customer is only right within these limits. We cater a little bit to everyone, offering basic needs and wants. For those of you who seem to take pride in being persnickety, please find a specialty store.

Minor things to address.
~ Don't stop us for assistance when we're shopping. Even when I'm not in uniform, someone will usually recognize me and start asking questions. If someone is "off the clock" it means they can be fired for doing their job while not being paid for it. I have a tendency to stop and help others, but not in that location. Anywhere but there.

~ If food says "(Hot)" it means it isn't cold. It has nothing to do with being spicy. We prepare some things to be ready to eat right away, and they last only a few hours before being replaced. We also prepare food to be chilled then sold refrigerated for two days. I prefer to buy cold product so I can place it in the oven at home later and have a relatively fresh-tasting meal, rather than get something that was nearing its two-hour limit and is desiccated. Cold food not only lasts longer, allowing us to provide something at all times while preparing more for the hot table, but it's also the only option available to those who rely upon food stamps.

~ Look at the signs and tags before stopping an associate. In every single major grocery store I've ever been in, there has always been a sign of some sort telling me what to find in each aisle. It's one thing to ask where coconut milk might be located, but it's another thing to ask where cereal is found. Right there, above you, is a big-ass sign that includes "cereal" on it! And everyone has met that one guy before. That special customer who wants to know where something is, and all you do is tell them to turn around. "Oh! I was looking everywhere for this and it's right here behind me. Thank you, sir." Some never even bother to look. They walk in and torpedo into someone stocking the shelves, wanting that person to find everything for them.

~ We don't make the prices. Quit blaming us and demanding answers for why they are what they are.

~ It's a minimum wage job. Threatening us by going to another store will have no effect. I even encourage it. Different stores have different deals. Make the most of your money and go where it's cheapest.

~ Do some research. There is no one at our store who has memorized all the ingredients of every individual item, and many of us have put little thought into what is appropriate for certain diets. If you are allergic to nuts, gluten, fruits, or have issues with salt, sugar, dyes, etc., then look that shit up on the internet! Even better, consult a dietitian and/or nutritionist. Once again, we work a minimum wage job. Do you really want advice from one of us about something that important?

~ Learn to be quick and courteous to us and the other shoppers. Don't block the aisles to chat. Don't cut in front of someone in line to demand help. Don't stand there for ten minutes staring at what we have while others behind you are stuck waiting to be served. Don't ask us if that's all we have on the hot bar or in the deli case. It's not like we are trying to hide hot food in the back. Don't order something then walk off. We need to make sure we know what you want and how you want it. Plus, other customers don't like the idea of standing quietly at the front of the line, and still not be acknowledged because we are preparing something for someone who isn't even there. Don't use a funeral as an excuse to not order ahead. Even calling right before driving to the store is time we can use to make a tray or fry chicken. Besides, I've had deaths in the family and I've been to funerals for those people. Never once did any of them turn into a mad dash to piece together a farewell party for the deceased. We always had at least a day to get things in order.

~ Sliced meats and cheeses come in "loaves" that are not always perfect. The ones that will look like they are would be the processed ones. Until you are buying the cheap stuff,  the loaf itself may be misshapen, causing itself to wobble on the slicer. This might result in odd-looking slices. Don't like it? Demand perfection at a specialty store.

~ Thinner doesn't make the food taste better. If that was true, I would cut my pizza into sixteen slices to double the flavor and eat ice cream with a smaller spoon. What thinner slices will do is cause the meat/cheese to spoil sooner. This goes for "shaved" or "chipped" meat as well. Think of how much faster crushed ice melts in your drink compared to cubes.

~There seems to be an odd rumor of how fresh our hot food is. It's made on the day it is served. Not the day before. Not even half a day before. That food gets two to four hours, depending upon what it is. That's it! Those numbers in the "Fresh from the oven at..." sticker are... *dramatic pause* the time of when it came out of the oven. The price for an entire chicken isn't "2:30".

Lastly, we get complaints all the time for an assortment of things. Sometimes, it feels like we can't do anything to please anyone. If a person does his job adequately, then let customer service know about it. "It takes a lot to make me highly satisfied!" Why? For eight bucks an hour, what do you expect from one of us? To kiss your ass and wash your feet with our hair? Yeah, there are many who don't even have a job, but that doesn't give someone the right to talk down to me or one of my associates as if we're sub-human. Treat us with respect, and most of us will return the favor (sometimes with added enthusiasm).

"You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boss was trying to say? It's like, 'Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it's against the law.'" 
-- Chris Rock