Friday, February 01, 2013

I should hide my blog under a cardboard box.

The concept of stealth isn't new to video games, though most never really cared about them until Metal Gear Solid. Back in ’81, Castle Wolfenstein had the player locating secret plans of the Nazis while attempting to avoid combat by wearing an enemy’s uniform, and a sequel to this was provided three years later, but the series became popular when Id Software launched Wolfenstein 3D in ’92 and allowed gamers the chance to gun down Hitler’s army of soldiers, dogs, and mutants (like Grösse Gretel) from a first-person perspective. Within that period, the original Metal Gear and its legitimate sequel were released, providing a strong foundation for the genre’s future, as we've witnessed over the years with Splinter Cell, Sly Cooper, Assassin’s Creed, and, of course, Toy Story for the SNES:
The restaurant of stage nine must be owned by Peter Pepper.
Food is constantly falling to the ground, and there are tiny shoe prints all over it.

I’m not really a fan of the stealth genre. One of the issues I've had with it involves the slower pace. Even when I've learned where to go and what to do, I’m still required to show some restraint to avoid detection. It’s a similar feeling I get while waiting for those platforms moving tardily in hop-and-bop and run-and-gun games: you’re on the move, everything is going smoothly, and then you’re experience is brought to a dead halt as you wait for something to pass by so that you are able to continue. Playing Metal Gear for the first time made matters worse with the constant need of the transceiver. Where to proceed, how to fight an opponent, what to get, and where to get it are all vital bits of intel, but then there’s the other garbage, like when you contact Big Boss and he responds with, “Land mine? You need to know how to use them! Over.” It’s like the NPCs in an adventure or role-playing game that not only have nothing of value to offer you, but also won’t direct you to somebody who does. Metal Gear 2 does a better job of assisting the player by recommending a specialist to contact during a particular event, which is much more appreciated than having Steve tell me to stop pestering Diane while she’s out shopping, instead of helping me figure out how to deal with a terrorist organization able to wipe out the planet with a nuclear-armed ED 209.

My other gripe with the stealth genre has to do with the figuratively brain-dead enemies. Developers want the player to be able to create an effective strategy, but the problem here is that the typical plot revolves around the belief that the organization you are infiltrating is too dangerous or crafty to merely attack head-on. I’m not up against Bowser and his squishable army of anthropomorphic turtles. I’m supposed to be surrounded by well-trained, elite soldiers with the occasional high-end mercenary or experiment gone wrong to survive against. One can forgive Metal Gear for its lack of artificial intelligence simply because of the game’s age, but, 10 years later, tunnel vision shouldn't still be such a prominent factor for exploitation. Why would a guard put in no real effort to investigate a huge fucking hole in the wall that was clearly made by an explosion heard just a minute ago? There are puddles of blood on the ground, and corpses have mutated into boxes of ammo and cans of Soylent Green. Shouldn't somebody be radioed about this? I hope the latest generation of stealth games has a more believable A.I. to contend with. If, nowadays, I can still manage to avoid detection by remaining stationary with a bucket over my head, then, clearly, I have no reason to be cautious around these enemies.

Putting aside ignorant statements about a topic I know little about, I would now like to focus my ever-diminishing attention towards Metal Gear itself.
"When you're done spouting your nonsense, I have a few things to say myself."

Back in the 8-bit era (or third generation), Konami was a particularly strong gaming company. While most were either trying to recreate the success of Portopia, The Legend of Zelda, and Dragon Quest, Konami had built up a reputation for releasing titles of a much higher standard. Then again, they are also responsible for Simon’s Quest.
Misinformation, lack of information, and ill-timed slowdown mixed with tricky jumping are among the reasons to believe the purpose of this sequel was simply to piss off the player.

The franchise is, I think, the second most profitable among Konami’s library (underneath Winning Eleven), and it’s not just because Metal Gear was the main inspiration for stealth gameplay. It offered a rather large variety of tools, a well-designed location (instead of a collection of multi-themed stages or wide areas of practically nothing), effective hit detection, and an in-game plot with real personality. It was another shining example of Konami-brand quality. Typing of quality, here's an idiot version of a Let's Play / Walkthrough of Metal Gear that actually has nothing to do with quality at all.

It all begins with Snake swimming up to Outer Heaven, armed with only a pack of waterproof cigarettes. I guess a knife or something wasn't necessary, since no one felt the need to actually guard the entrance to the main hangar. As you walk inside, Big Boss finally decides to tell you why you just snuck into the building. One of the changes in the NES version actually makes more sense, because Snake is given instructions before entering the base. The image I had was of Snake just standing there, dripping water all over the floor, while trying to figure out what the heck he was supposed to be doing. Once you understand your mission, you make your way through the place, quickly realizing that all the doors are locked. On the other hand, there are a trio of trucks parked in the middle of the yard and another group of them further inside the building. You find a bit of health, weapons, some worthless binoculars, a keycard, and are met by an alert group of enemies that you will have to either face or flee from. In fact, all the basic information you need for this game is provided just from reaching and exploring these six vehicles. After that, Snake can either backtrack to try out his new keycard or make his way into that elevator. It’s more of that wonderful Metroidvania I wasn't fond of when I played Rygar. Even if the player chooses to go to the elevator and visit the third floor, he will be forced to return, because Snake will die shortly after entering the gas room without the mask. With keycard in hand, you enter a small room with a single sleep-feeling guard protecting a gas mask sitting on the corner table. There is no one watching the wide open entrance, but here is Snoozing Stan keeping a closed eye on a single piece of equipment. Simply punch Stan to death, retrieve the mask, and head back to the third floor. If you hadn't already, Snake will come across a P.O.W. just before entering the gas room. These prisoners will provide you with bits of information and help raise Snake’s rank, which is measured in precious gold star stickers. The more precious gold star stickers Snake has, the more equipment he can carry. It’s necessary for Snake to have four stars by the time he reaches Metal Gear in order to beat the game. With five precious gold star stickers, Snake will have first pick of the toys in the classroom during play time, and will have a smiley face pinned to his shirt to take back to the base to show Big Boss.

After you unlock the door and enter the room, Big Boss will tell you to put on the mask. It is here I found my second complaint about the game. For some odd reason, Snake cannot wear a gas mask AND carry a keycard at the same time. What’s worse is that he will breathe in the poison while I am trying to figure out which card to use. This isn't a problem early on, but when I’m walking around with eight cards and am trying to figure out which one opens what, being stuck in one of those rooms will drain my life bar rapidly.

After leaving that death trap, Snake will have to re-equip the keycard to unlock a door leading to another P.O.W. While avoiding a few more guards, the player will enter a room with plastic explosives being protected by a giant... metallic... rolling pin?

I don’t know! I’m just a fucking toy!

Ok, so, um, avoid the rolling pin and you’ll eventually find a room with an electrified floor that you, obviously, don’t want to walk across. Fortunately, there is another small room off to the side with the second keycard sitting on a table. There’s not even a sleeping guard watching over this thing! Start backtracking (because that’s the most funnest fucking thing to do in a video game!), and use the card on every door you couldn't open before. You’re going to repeat this process with another six cards, so get used to it. Eventually, Snake will find rations and some handy dandy remote-controlled missiles, one of which can be directed towards the control panel of that electric floor. From there, it’s more exploration, which pays off in the forms of another P.O.W. to rescue, a grenade launcher, a silencer (if you kill the four guards that suddenly attack), and that iconic, life-saving cardboard box that has allowed numerous geeks to cosplay Metal Gear without the need to spend time, money, and effort on a real outfit. You can also sneak around the second floor, saving another person and collecting some ammo, but without the third keycard, it’s just a waste of time. Normally, a player wouldn't realize this until after he has been there himself. Instead, head back down to the first floor, rescue two more captives, and pick up the sub machine gun before getting captured and sent to a holding cell down in the basement. Hulk smash through one of the walls, cause you’re Solid fucking Snake, and rescue Grey Fox. You’ll get some information on Metal Gear and its creator before moving on to meet with your first boss.

ShotMaker, Shoot Gunner, ShotGunner… it seems like no one at Konami/Ultra could come to a decision as to what to call this guy, which is asinine for such a minor character. He is the first of a long list of disappointing boss battles, a trend that continues through the second game with villains like Running Man, a guy who runs in a circle while you both suffocate in a room filling with gas, and Red Blaster, a nut-job who tries to slow you down with string that Snake never bothers to even break, because it’s easier to stand still and throw grenades at him until he dies. Disregard the fact that ShitTaker even exists and kick open one of the doors to regain all your stuff. I find this to be an interesting bit of added effort with the inclusion of the transmitter in the sack. If the player doesn’t remove the device, guards will continue to come after you, kinda like having the Enemy Lure, except you’re not getting a damned bit of exp from these guys, so toss that shit out and head back in to take on the boss. CakeBaker only moves left and right spraying pepper at you as if you were Mr. Egg or Mr. Hot Dog. Stand off to the side and kill him with RC missiles. That’s it. A tidbit of information that is slightly more interesting than this fight: Mr. Hot Dog later moved on from video games to appear in a terrible anime under the name “Hot Doggone-It.” He still would have made for a better boss.

Move along to the next room and use plastic explosives on all of the walls in order to pick up a uniform that was hidden for no explainable reason and a funny-looking bomb blast suit:
Hey, if you want to finish this game, you’ll wear that thing and like it!

Make sure to re-equip your gun before heading back to the elevator. I wasted a plastic explosive on a guard dog by mistake, and the image of one of Gallagher’s watermelons crossed my mind suddenly.

At this point, you should also have obtained the third keycard, so head to the second floor now, under your box, and make your way to either the ammunition or through the door to find another giant, metal rolling pin. Prior to finding the second rolling pin, I discovered that if a guard walked past me while I was under the box, I would continuously take damage until he was gone. Unless the guard just likes to repeatedly punch and kick crates and other cargo as he moves around a room, I can’t find a suitable excuse for why Snake is being hurt by someone who is unaware of his presence.

Moving past the rolling pin, Snake’s only option is to head south. You can pick up some goggles and a P.O.W. before facing Machinegun Kid. He’s pretty much the same fucking boss as SlopFlinger: moves left and right while firing at Snake until four RC missiles end his pitiful existence. With that, you can now obtain the parachute and head to the roof where you’ll find more of the same garbage, obtain a mine detector, and battle with the Hind D. I have no problem with this. I do, however, wonder about Twin Shot. It’s as if Snake somehow managed to convince these two that they’d have a better chance of beating him if they fought outside the helicopter. Well played, Snake. Well played.

Make sure to equip the parachute, or you’ll plummet to your doom like I did, feeding the dogs below that weren't crushed to death by Snake’s body. The parachute was replaced with an iron glove in the NES version, since Snake and three nobodies had already parachuted into the jungle at the beginning. When shown alongside the other items, the glove seems like it was taken out of some other game.

It doesn’t have any real purpose, either, but if you’re going to punch enemies to death, why not do it with a hunk of metal wrapped around your fist?

When you land, use the mine detector to enter the right truck and grab the fourth keycard. There are a few moments in this game that are worth hating, and that left truck is one of them. Hop in and you get sent back to the beginning, which will force you to go back up to the roof and parachute down again if you didn't grab the keycard first. Obviously, you’ll use this card to get out of the yard, and you’ll find another prisoner with some information to share. Go up, go right, and go out into the desert to find more landmines and a pair of trucks. The one on the right will send you back to the courtyard, and if you enter that truck again, for whatever reason, you’ll go back to the start. The other truck has more plastic explosives. Whoop-dee-doo! Just equip your mine detector and head north. Stock up on rations at the next truck, because further ahead is another boss: a tank. I’m surprised there is only one to deal with in this entire game. As any player will notice, these people are in no short supply of tanks. It's the only truly challenging boss Snake will encounter, and Outer Heaven is too cheap to afford sending a second your way. You need to drop mines close enough to the choke point for the tank to stupidly run over, but you can’t get too close or it’ll stupidly run over Snake, instead. Once that’s done, you go up, put on the uniform (because Big Boss tells you to), and enter without anyone asking questions. Too bad this deception won’t work on anyone else. I found that out when I tried to walk on by and was greeted with the usual gunfire and reinforcements. Eventually, you’ll walk into a narrow room and find yourself face to face with a bulldozer referred to as “bulldozer”. All you do is fire grenades at it until the thing explodes. I died a few times, and fled the room a few more because I couldn't get eight hits fast enough. Infrared goggles will help Snake avoid the lasers in the next room, but you’re just going up into the elevator, so it doesn’t matter. Up on the rooftop, click click boom! Save a guy, grab a card, and run straight through. Yep, it’s a song and dance, as Snake is immediately placed into alert mode and has to run through a gauntlet in order to reach the elevator that will help him get to the first floor of the basement. From there, you kill some dogs, move around another gas-filled area, and blow up more walls. Be glad that gas isn't combustible or we’d be seeing the ending a bit prematurely. Among the goodies, you’ll finally meet with Dr. Madnar tied to a chair, muttering something about a trap. Nothing suspicious there, but, coincidentally, the floor opens up after he tells you that he’s a fake and the real one… blah blah blah. He falls and dies. Those pits, by the way, are more forgiving in this game. In the sequel, even up to the very end while you are waiting for your helicopter to arrive, there’s a pit trap waiting for Snake to step on, and once he does, there is no brief moment to back off. It’s anticlimactic and just plain irritating, but that’s for a later mission. All a person needs to know for now is that if the trap has already been activated, just touching the edge will cause Snake to twirl around and fall dead. From that room, Snake moves left, grabs a new card, and then uses it to face off against another poorly-named boss who fights in practically the same pattern as Machinegun Kid and Shoot Gunner: Fire Trooper.
Am I the only one who thinks he resembles some other character?

Like eating a handful of jelly beans, then biting down into a black one, or like punching a kid in the face and then scrapping your knuckles on his teeth, the boss fights are fun-killing moments in an otherwise wonderful experience.

Back at the first floor, Snake needs to grab a flashlight from a specific room. This might seem like a demeaning task for a special ops soldier, but it isn't much of a surprise to older gamers, since many RPG and adventure titles at the time included some sort of light source item for dark rooms or caves. There’s also the matter of Snake’s HM learnset only allowing for Strength, Rock Smash, and Fly, which is bullshit IMO. Anyway, with this marvelous piece of technology, Snake will now be able to safely traverse a dark hallway full of those obnoxious floor traps and stun neon-coloured ghosts so that he can effectively suck them up in the Poltergust that you will find later on when you reach Boo Woods. There's also an antenna to pick up in one of the other rooms, which will allow for transmissions to pass through the jamming signal. Make sure you don't forget that.

Head to the second floor of building two and you’ll be greeted by an alert guard. Fight your way south and make a right between two rows of crates. Here, you will find the Arnold, or Bloody Brad, cyberoids. I guess it’s a boss fight, but the music never changes, and neither attacks you unless you get directly in their line of sight. Again, another shitty boss, but everything you have won’t even cause one of them to flinch, so it’s best to keep moving right. Go up, save another helpless idiot, and he’ll tell you Jennifer’s frequency. After that, head to the other side of the room to find nothing but a table behind the second door. If you walk out and contact Jennifer, a rocket launcher will suddenly appear in the room you just left. How?
It’s magic! Kojima ain't gotta explain shit!

Head back to the room with Arnold and snake past the bottom one to rescue Drago, who will refuse to be of any help until he knows his daughter Ellen is safe. Also, there's ammo. Head back to take care of the Bloody Brad duo using the rocket launcher four times on each. Alternately, you can give them a couple of Turbo-Man action figures and they’ll just pretend to not notice, but regardless of how you proceed, Snake will need to collect the seventh keycard. Go north to pick up the bottle conveniently labeled as “antidote” and then head back to unlock the next door in the Arnold area. From there, you'll meet a few more guards who watch over a locked room that none of your keys will open. This will require Jennifer’s assistance again. Grab the compass and make your way back once more to enter the fourth room from where you met the cybernoids. Rescue another P.O.W. and maneuver past more guards in order to reach a room that includes both a floor trap and another metallic rolling pin trying to prevent Snake from reaching the elevator. Go back down to the first floor basement, shoot both guard dogs (or waste plastic explosives on them like I did), and head back into that gas-filled maze where you met the fake doctor. Along the way, you’ll be able to pick up some rations from a safe room, but since this requires going in and out of the gas, and because Snake isn't bright enough to keep the mask on as he opens the door, stocking up needs to be done as quickly as possible to minimize the health loss. Blow away one wall and hug the other to avoid a floor trap. Grab the ammo found just before opening the next door, and equip the flashlight. Tread lightly, because this whole area is full of floor traps. Once you've activated each one to get an idea of where they are, leave the room to reset them, and then hurry across the hall to avoid falling to your death. Shoot a bunch of dogs and be careful of yet another floor trap as you use a plastic explosive to create an opening into Ellen’s cell. With her safe, Drago will tell you where to find Metal Gear and how to defeat him (blow up its legs). Go back to where you found that all-powerful flashlight and head through the northern door leading out to a desert filled with red scorpions.
At least they’re not the Ultramarines.

As you trek across the desert, make sure to have your compass on you. Once you reach building three, equip the antidote to nullify the poison. Big Boss will call to tell you to enter one of the trucks, but doing so will send you back to the beginning. You’re better off going into the building and clearing away the guards inside. Again, Big Boss will instruct you on where to go, and, again, it will lead Snake in the wrong direction. Tell him to go fuck himself and make your own doorway. Watch out for the floor traps leading to the elevator. Here, Snake will go down 100 floors to where the Metal Gear is kept, but without the last keycard, there isn't much Snake can do to reach it at this point in the game. Jennifer will contact you and mention a hidden room with an oxygen tank in it to help Snake breathe underwater. More backtracking, yay! Remember that area with the water Snake had to swim through to get the flashlight? Of course you do! Now, with this item, Snake can swim in those dark spots and make his way to the next boss, Coward Duck.

Dirty Duck shields himself with three prisoners and a floor trap while he throws boomerangs at Snake. If you kill any of them, your rank will drop. Kill the one who is Jennifer’s brother and… well, I guess it doesn’t matter. Without the best rank, you won’t be able to carry enough explosives to defeat Metal Gear anyhow, so all three must survive the battle. If you have plenty of rations, disregard the damage being taken and position yourself so that you can shoot Filthy Dick without the fear of hitting a P.O.W. and collect the final keycard. You’ll also be provided with a piece of information worth remembering: climb the left ladder.

Fill up on ammunition and rations before heading back to building three. Here, you’ll now be able to rescue one more person who will reveal the leader of Outer Heaven. As Snake heads for the tank, Big Boss will contact him one last time, ordering Snake to abort the mission and turn off the MSX. Back in 1987, breaking the fourth wall like that was pretty damn clever. I can’t recall an earlier game to use this technique, though, in ’88 and ’89, Altered Beast and Golden Axe rewarded players with a pair of metafictional endings that portrayed one as being a movie while the other had the characters bursting out of the arcade cabinet and running amok in the real world.
Let’s go to the old mill! Get some cider!

Once you've realized that you've been duped, turn your MSX, NES, PS, or PC back on and continue towards Metal Gear. Make sure you are full on plastic explosives and bomb the thing’s feet in this order: R, R, L, R, L, L, R, L, L, R, R, L, R, L, R, and R. In the NES version, this machine is replace by a super computer, and you can place bombs on it wherever you want. Initially, I figured it was some Decepticon trick and the tank was merely trying to hide itself in its altmode. Unfortunately, it was just that the NES lacked the ability to reproduce the sprite. Looking back at some of the arcade games that were ported to the Famicom around that time and noticing the downgrade in visuals each one received from the transition, I’d say this was one of the only wise decisions made by Ultra, even if no one will agree with me.

After the tank explodes, a self-destruct sequence will begin. As you enter the next room, you’ll face your final opponent:
Big Boss himself!

Shoot him with RC missiles, smoke a cig, then head into the final room where you’ll find three ladders to climb. You should know which one to use. As Snake leaves the compound, players will bear witness to the usual ending found in a Konami game back in the 80s.
And down it goes!

In the MSX version, Big Boss will contact Snake one last time to let him know that they’ll meet again soon.

Despite the changes that fans of the series will shit upon, the NES version of Metal Gear was still a big success in America, and if it wasn't for Snake’s Revenge, Kojima probably wouldn't have been as motivated as he was to create a true sequel for the franchise. I've never played Snake’s Revenge, but, from what I have researched, it has to do with Snake’s realization that he left his flashlight back at Outer Heaven. Having lost it in the explosion, Snake swears to avenge its death by taking down some other terrorist group building a new Metal Gear that just so happens to include Big Boss.
Flashlight (1987 – 1987)

With Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake, nearly every aspect from the first game was improved upon, but I feel that several parts of the game are not explained all that well. I found myself constantly asking, “How could someone beat this without a strategy guild?” I can think of two options. The first involves trial and error backtracking. Eventually, the player will activate the hidden triggers by visiting every single place over and over again. The second involves contacting everyone at every screen, hoping to get some sort of clue as to where to go and what to do next. Neither seem all that appealing to me. I mean, I remember the NES days where I drew maps and kept notes of what I saw and read in certain video games. They may be fond memories for some other 30-year-old loser, but I hope to never go back to doing that. As for my overall opinion of Metal Gear… shit! It’s a fucking masterpiece! Dorks like myself can poke fun at it all we want, but the fact of the matter is that this reached a level of quality that VERY few other games had back then. I can’t wait until I have the opportunity to play MGS, though I’m fairly certain most of the funny has already been wrung out of that series by Newgrounds.
Well, I guess that's one way to tell me my blog was too long.