For starters, Switch was said to contain the DNA of all the previous systems, like shoulder buttons and a joystick. Yeah, while that's all technically true, having to mention it in such a lengthy manner was completely pointless. This occurred again in a cringy skit near the end with the revealing of Zelda's release date. Here, we see the game's creator, director, and Nintendo's biggest meme responding with, "I don't know the release date. Ask this guy!" "Oh, I can't answer that, either. Why not ask that guy?"
/facepalm |
Why was this necessary? Were screens even an issue among gamers? |
What bothered me the most about this presentation is how elementary the explanation for the system became, especially involving the joy-cons.We can see the buttons and joysticks. We know how they work. The rumble feature has been around for a few decades now. Look, the reveal was heavily praised, because it told consumers everything without talking. Here, it's the complete opposite, and a viewer had to wade a whole bunch uh nuthin' just to get a few morsels of something fresh. Way to hold my attention, Nintendo. Even if this is directed at investors or whomever might not have seen the reveal video back in October, one could imagine they can look at this thing and figure out how to use it for themselves. If not, link them the friggin' video! It's still there, and on the same channel as this presentation. Why would they even want to invest in something if they don't know the basics about it already?
Thank goodness we can now count how many cubes of ice are dropped into a virtual glass of water. Welcome to the future, folks. |
Battery life and pricing were important for many, and I was a little curious, but it wasn't going to affect my decision all that much. (I seldom leave my home, and I never expect this stuff to be cheap.) If the lowest is going to be two and a half hours of power, then I'll typical plan for that on all games. I'm guessing the six-hour limit pertains to classic titles, which will be available as freebies each month through a paid online service. I'm fine with that. Others are not, but that same crowd believes all video games should cost $5, so it's best to ignore their existence.
At $300, I'm fine with the initial cost for the console. I'll likely want an additional controller, and that's another $70, $80, along with $90 for another dock. By the time I actually have a desire to own the thing, it'll probably drop in price anyhow. If not, I won't complain. I'm sure Nintendo will deserve it by the time Mario hits the shelves. Typing of which, there's games. Not a lot of them, but stuff is in the works.
Mario Kart 8 is being ported and bringing the world of Splatoon along for the race. There's also Dry Bones and the feather item, if you care. I don't, but since I never bought the game for my Wii U, this will be on my short list of purchases.
Another obvious choice is Super Mario Odyssey, where Bowser and Mario are traveling around the globe in spiffy hats. I get some first-season JoJo vibes from Boswer's little Speedwagon attack, and one can only hope that Mario's sentient cap is less obnoxious than FLUDD. Granted, I didn't mind the thing. Sunshine is my favorite of the Mario titles, after all (with SMB2 being a close second), so I must like FLUDD at a subconscious level. When it was first shown during the Switch's reveal, I was really hoping Mario was traversing the realm of Samba de Amigo, and that the premise involved him in the world of Sega's library of gems. Yeah, I know. Ha-ha. Fuck you. Let me dream... preferrably in NiGHTS.
Already saw an awful lot of mocking in ARMS's direction, but I'm a fan of quirky one-on-one titles. Plus, Ribbon Girl will certainly inspire a superfluous amount of porn, so there's that to look forward to. I'm not a fan of blondes, so I'll have to settle for whatever it was recently made about Mario and his sentient cap. (Yeah, that's a thing.)
I do believe I've seen this combination of Puyo and Tetris before, but I welcome it all the same. This is especially because I don't currently own a previous version of it, though I do have some variation of both separately. Plenty of different Tetris games, and I actually have the best version of Puyo Pop. I should be content, but this is far more eye-catching, and I'm all about that excessive use of colors.
Puyo Pop at its dankest. |
Konami is releasing something that might actually qualify as a playable video game. I wish I could type that it couldn't get any worse than Act Zero, but this is Konami, and I'm sure they'll find some way to disappoint me and all the other hopefuls awaiting more information on Super Bomberman R. Now, a moment of silence for Hudson Soft.
You will always bee in our hearts, Hudson. Much love. Such Bonk. |
I may not like blondes, but I do love seeing an unstoppable tank single-handedly wipe out an entire army with brute force. |
In other news that nobody cares about, I finished Fallout 4 and its DLC. Not everything, but I did manage 70 of the 84 achievements, so that isn't bad. Bethesda did a better job of cobbling this one together, as I was able to start the game immediately after downloading it.
Don't kid yourself! There are still plenty of bugs. |
He was like this when I fast traveled here and completely disappeared once I entered the ship. This weird shit happens. |
"Hey. Uh I mean, I mean. Hi... again. Uh... hi? Hiii..." (He won't be missed.) |
As many have stated before, Fallout 4 is a far prettier experience, and the combat is fantastic, but it's more of a FPS than an RPG, and if you're not playing survival mode, then you're not really going to care about what happens as a result of your actions. I didn't. For example, I became a part of the Brotherhood of Steel.
Stay strong, squire. |
After that, I became the leader of the Institute.
And there it is! Take a picture! |
Hope you like blue! (I greatly dislike blue.) |
Note: All these pictures of Ada are while standing in the same spot. |
I made Cait wear this throughout Nuka-World. |
Yeah, this review is just a half-assed excuse to post screenshots, but many tell me they only look at the pictures anyhow, so this is for you bunch of losers. I can call you "losers" because you won't read this anyhow. Look, here's another picture featuring a pile of teddy bears and bullets!
I'm a post-apocalyptic Santa Claus bringing joy to The Commonwealth. |
If you were wondering, Prime does make a return in Fallout 4, but I never got to see him in action... because I killed the folks rebuilding him. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ "Oh well!"
Overall, this is going to appeal to the gun nuts, modders, and the RPers who are just going to kill everything, change everything, or conjure up their own story. Not so much to people like me who were hoping for a similar experience to what made Fallout 3 and New Vegas amazing. Granted, I know there are plenty of those who love being able to build their own vault and various bases, but doing so is frustrating. It really is a shitty interface, and Bethesda ought to feel embarrassed for it. Plus, Preston will never stop bugging you about them. The only real benefit I found was in setting up several shops, because vendors never seemed to have enough caps to pay out for all the crap I had accumulated during my travels.
Lastly, here's my character and wasteland waifu, Sumbich.
I don't actually indulge in the idea of a waifu, but I do like making female characters and naming them Sumbich. It amuses me, cause I'm immature, and the structure of this post would infuriate an English professor, but, hey, why read this when there's one more picture to look at, instead?
Give her drugs. Discover your future. |
Happy New Year everyone, and good luck to those of you also in participating the upcoming Four in February. So far, I've only decided upon Bastion. I have roughly half a month left to figure out the other three. Wish me luck, or read this after February and not think about it anymore.
Keep your expectations low, people. I'm pretty sure 2017 is going to suck as much as 2016, if not more.
2 comments:
I didn't watch the stream, but I did watch some guy watching the stream (though not all of it). I'm optimistic for the new Zelda and will get it for Wii U and so far am loving all the theory videos about the new Link (speculated as a recurring link from the nes days). It's interesting how the Switch comes full circle being the Wii and Wii U's incestuous love child. Contrary to Nintendo's claim of support for the Wii U as a separate entity, the Switch kills its predecessor Game of Thrones-style. I'm not looking foward to the overkill of shitty, 3rd party peripherals making a comeback and neither am I confident in Nintendo's paid online service given the company's spartan history with online gaming and social networking. I am however happy that the Switch at least defines itself from the under-powered, homogenized games because it sells PCbox One, and the similar-ish, but with actual games, hubris station 4. Hopefully it gets the 3rd party support it needs and I'm not talking about garbage shovelware, like "my baby simulator 20XX" or "low-budget _____ the movie: the game".
Congrats with your accomplishments in Fallout 4. The game felt underwhelming for me, but I cannot deny that base-building was fun.
I was really hoping to get some information of the next Steamworld title hinted by Image & Form, or maybe hear something from a few more of these fifty something third-party supporters: "Hey, yeah, we got something brewing in a toilet that we plan to sell for sixty bucks... maybe. By the way, my kid's middle name is Boogerman, so fun fact there. Ahem, I was told there would be a gift basket if I came on stage. I'd like to have it now, please."
That portion of the presentation really was a let down, similar to read this blog. Thank you and/or I'm sorry, Chops
Post a Comment