Don't Read; Not Interesting (for you, that is)

I figured it was Vampire Hunter D when TNT's 100% Weird aired the movie one boring weekend a long time ago. Other possible candidates might have been Monkey Magic, Ninja Scroll, Voltron, or a stray episode of the original Dragonball series.

I discovered the truth while watching PONIES the Anthology II on Youtube. In addition to clips imitating the opening for The Walking Dead, the video of Leeroy Jenkins, and overdubbing bits of the show with music or one-liners from other media, the one in particular that caught my interest was an ABC bumper from 1988 playing to the scene of an exhausted Applejack crashing into the dirt. That got me searching for the other bumpers ABC used with their Saturday morning cartoons. This led me to videos of the bumpers Nickelodeon used in the late 80s and early 90s which primarily featured Doo-Wop. Not surprisingly, because I had no life back then either, I was able to recognize all but two of them. I type "two" but it was just the same one with "1986" replacing "1985" at the start of it. Of course, why would I remember them? They would have only aired when I was three and four years old. Even if I was plopped in front of the tube at that age, I wouldn't have realized what was going on. I guess I could lie about that like those little fucks who are featured on TV periodically for being talented at an early age: "I've been horseback riding since I was two years old." No, you were shown a Polaroid of when your parents held you on the saddle while they posed for the camera. By your logic, if I had a snapshot of some brat chewing on a pencil, then he's probably going to grow up to become a writer. Heck, let's say the kid really did become a writer. I doubt he'd claim the foundation of his career started with the taste of graphite. More likely, he'd talk about the first piece he wrote that he felt proud of or of one that merited some sort of recognition from others. I started playing on the Nintendo when I was five. I was given a controller and left to figure out how to use it for Super Mario Bros., Duck Hunt, and Track & Field. Maybe when my parents had an Atari, they placed the joystick in front of me and added another photo in my baby book, but I am not about to count that as the start of my interest in video games.

Anyway, where wasn't I? Oh, well, those bumpers brought on more curiosity, which led me to research (research = Wikipedia nowadays) the programming Nickelodeon had running when I was a child. I was fortunate enough to enjoy Nick's golden years, before Viacom took over and turned the image of the familiar orange slime logo into one of splattered shit.

Looking over the names on the list, I vaguely remembered the time I wasted watching Double Dare, Pinwheel, You Can't Do That on Television, Today's Special, and The Elephant Show. Two other shows I noticed were actually a pair of anime called Noozles and Adventures of the Little Koala, which aired from '87 to '94 ('88 to '93 for Noozles). These were products of some Koala craze going on in Japan in the mid-to-late 80s (similar to America's obsession with Australia at the time) that Nickelodeon picked up for its Nick Jr. hours. They're also the first anime shows I have ever watched and was old enough to retain memories of to this day. I hadn't realized they were from Japan, however, so I found it to be an interesting bit of information from my pitiful childhood. As for those of you who couldn't have cared less about me, I've provided an apology in the form of a poorly rendered fart image of Noozles I made on MS Paint:

Just one more piece of evidence to indicate why I'm not "koala"fied to be writing a comedy blog.