Shuffle Scolding and the Badge Arcade

First, I would like to compound my agitation towards Pokemon Shuffle and its little bullshit quirks with a few fuck ton of words. Skip to the image below, if you rather not read it. 

Last time, through an update on my Shuffle post, I think I was bitching about how even the weakest of the bunch are nigh invincible without forking over the full cost of buffs provided, including the 2500 for the great ball effect to double up on catch percentage, because, even if you obtain an S ranking, many of these stages will reward your success with some grossly pathetic chance, like 18%, and that doesn't even amount to a friggin' coin flip's chance of catching the prick, despite how much you already paid out in assistance to get that ranking. This is ok, however, because if you willingly empty out the rest of your savings again to repeat the process, that will mathematically earn you slightly better odds the next time. How, then, could I have more to whine about, and why would I still be bothering with such a game if whining is what comes out of playing it? Fair questions.

Ok, so I only bother with Shuffle on my old 3DS. Some of the buttons don't work, the newest titles won't play at all, and its only real purpose for functioning now is to feed my New 3DS XL StreetPass support. Recently, I discovered a new, somewhat handy, reason to keep it by my side, but I'll get to that later in the post. Pokemon Shuffle is something I can play on my old 3DS (i.e. I don't need all the buttons to work.) It provides somewhat better gameplay when compared to similar, candy-related apps, and I am a sucker for match-3 games, unfortunately. Always have been.

Shuffle is probably going to be the only way I will ever catch'em all in a single Pokemon game. I know I can't do that with the main titles, especially after I was told of the Mew giveaway five days AFTER that had ended. Celebi starts now, but, again, if I go out to Gamestop for the rest, I will still be missing him, and there's a good chance I will miss out on another, because driving to Gamestop for each of these events during the anniversary is more trouble than it's worth. Costly, too. The whole thing is just to get me in there to buy shit, and I know I would. Best to avoid the temptation. Moving back to the freemium, a play session is about ten minutes at most. It's something to do while I stand in the kitchen and wait for water to boil, the microwave timer to end, or the oven to preheat. It's an alternative to sitting in the break room for fifteen minutes and watching soaps on the television while I chug tap water. I know a real handheld video game could kill that time, too, but Shuffle provides so many stopping points. That's convenient. Plus, Meowth is still available for milk money. Thanks to him, I can level up my team, fill my coffers, and successfully complete all the special events featured each week. I'd be lying if I typed that it didn't feel good to win every mega stone and capture every legendary that strolls on in to hang out. Sometimes, I think Shuffle deserves money. It does offer free plays, and new stuff is always being added to it. Then, I notice yet another crippling aspect being inserted into its gameplay. 

So, you've maxed out your team, yet their combined power doesn't drop an opponent fast enough for a reasonable chance at capture. Hell, you're lucky if you even manage to win before the stage ends. For a short time, one strategy would be to add the same garbagemon to your team that the stage produces as a disruption, because that means both of you would be filling the stage with them, and that influx would greatly increase chained matches to help rack up damage. It likely wouldn't be super effective shots, but lots of chip damage will still add up and help clear away the clutter for matching the rest of the team. Shuffle decided to counter this by including another garbagemon whenever the first one is chosen to tackle the stage. By doing this, the board is now filling up with two ineffective creatures, and you just wasted a heart as a result. The Pokemon Company was quick to quash that idea. There's still the preferred strategy of support through payment buffs, right? Yeah, and guess what they've recently done with that. Let's say you have trouble with an asshole's disruption pattern. You know if you stall that, there's a good chance to inflict enough damage to terribly wound, if not outright defeat, your opponent. One doesn't need ALL of the buffs, so you decide to only pay out the 1500 for a disruption delay. What?! The game can't have you spending your coins on just some of the items. You're suppose to buy all of them for every stage, and to help reinforce that demand, delaying a Pokemon will now cause it to become more dangerous once the effect wears off. What might have taken two or three turns will now occur every. fucking. turn. Good thing that bloated health bar ensured survival until the delay wore off, right? Lastly, I noticed Pokemon you may have caught during special events are also a part of the main stages. If you were dumb enough, like me, to believe capturing them with limited time was a good reason to spend your coins, then prepare your metaphorical anus for a second pounding. The guy is just as difficult, meaning you'll most likely have to spend your coins again to progress further, and even if you pay out for all the assistance, there's still a strong chance you won't earn the S ranking needed to help unlock expert stages with the Pokemon one isn't able to catch otherwise. Guess I'll put my money elsewhere.

I think what will be the breaking point for this is when someone finally decides, "We need to make it impossible for players to grind Meowth for coins, or, at least, reduce his health bar so that he commonly falls before anyone can set up a 4- or 5-match with the coins for it to really pay off." It'll happen, and I won't care. I still haven't paid a cent for playing the game, and I've done a pretty good job of clearing stages and leveling strong teams despite that. I wouldn't recommend anyone wishing to start now. If you didn't get in on the ground floor, and you think you can enjoy this without paying, then it's going to be more trouble than it's worth. The Marvel Puzzle Quest is the same way. Actually, MPQ is worse, because a newcomer is not only going to struggle with weekly events, but there's also the scummy inclusion of comic book barriers halting character growth. A shame that pack of covers you bought didn't include the ones you needed. Perhaps if you give up more of your money.... Sure, Pokemon Shuffle is shit, but it's still a slightly higher grade of shit, and it's that distinction I'm using to segue into the main topic of this post, because I think it's kinda related. Maybe? Meh. You be the judge.

"Check out the Nintendo Badge Arcade, a fun-filled, free-to-start, crane machine game."

Right from the get-go, we have Nintendo directly entering the P2P market with a bit of subtle honesty, or, perhaps, it isn't entirely, because sometimes it is free. Either way, this isn't how other developers introduce themselves on the matter. This isn't really how business in general operates anymore.

Nintendo Badge Arcade is a virtual building run by a pink hare with no English name more creative than Arcade Bunny. It's Baito in Japan, I believe. (Sounds more like a suitable name for a wolf, but whatever.) Arcade Bunny introduces the sucker player to a collection of crane games offering you the chance to decorate the home menu of your Nintendo 3DS handheld. Some use a traditional claw to grab at the prizes, while others utilize either a hammer or even drop a bomb, but all of them run on money. Wanna know what kind of stupid, fictional currency it is this time? Gems? Stars? Carrots?

Real money? Ha! You're not gonna fool people with that sort of nonsense, Nintendo.

Yes, this particular P2P is upfront about everything. It's fairly generous, and it never tries to convince you of how important it is keep spending money, opting, instead, to respond with, "No worries! That's cool." Visiting each day can randomly provide free plays either at the start of a new day's introduction or through the practice catcher:

As is stated by the image, this thing is playable once a day, the brown badge look-alikes are not for you to keep, and it actually recreates one of the active games currently available, so it's practice for not only using the claw itself, but also practice for how to best approach the machine it is imitating. Every time one manages to store ten fake badges, they earn a free play. Alternatively, those badges might flip over to reveal free plays of their own: blue = 1 & red = 3. Adding to that, if you're lucky enough to clear out all the practice badges before using up your five practice turns, it'll refill and you can keep going. I was expecting it to end. Who wouldn't nowadays? More surprisingly, guess what happens if you fail miserably and come up with nothing after those five attempts? Sucks for yo... the rabbit lets you have five more chances. A do-over. He actually gives the player a fucking do-over! How is that not amazing?! Since I have this on both of my handhelds, I test the waters on the old one first, so that it provides additional practice (in addition to the practice and other practice this practice machine provides) for when I play it on my New 3DS. See, that's another reason to keep my original with me at all times. More practice! The most I've ever accumulated in one day is five free plays, which is not common. Usually, you'll score one, if any. Still, it's free, and what fake badges you have left after cashing in each divisible of ten is carried over to the next day.

Everything other than the menu icons are badges, including Bowser's fireball.
(...because you may just want a menu of fireballs.)

The real cost to play is five chances for a buck. What are you trying to buy with that buck? Badges that allow one to decorate his 3DS in all sorts of ways, with some being able to replace the standard icons used to launch music, photos, settings, the Mii Plaza, and those other ones I forget about. Walking progress or something. Some themes are available to go with the badges, but, as the bunny says, they're not necessary. Rather than the more elaborate options sold individually at the theme store itself, these blank counterparts are given as gifts to those who spend $2 or more on the cranes during specific time periods. The in-game theme shop will alert you to one of these periods on the top of it's entrance, as will the rabbit on the bottom screen. A theme in the main shop is $1.99 anyhow, so spending two bucks for ten plays AND a badge theme is not a bad deal at all. I particularly favor the SMB Underwater look, even though I didn't bother aiming for the appropriate underwater Mario badges to go along with it.

Fill it however you want.

The bulk of collectibles are not that challenging to get. Hell, a few will fall into the pit and add themselves to your collection before you even begin. Because it's Nintendo, there's tons of these things a person like me would want. I sometimes compare them to Amiibos, except I can actually get these without the aid of a scalper. Of course, one could argue how much nicer it is to own a tangible, decorative piece to show off in your home, studio, ...wherever, but I could argue that the ones I want most are now overpriced thanks to the initial supply shortage, and I really don't have the space to make room for a whole bunch of plastic (and yarn) models. I also don't like having doll-like things around me. They creep me out. Then there's this:

It might mean nothing right now, yet those badges might serve another function later on, similar to the Amiibos. It's a neat thing to ponder.

What effectively sells this distraction, in addition to its straightforward and guilt-free approach, is Arcade Bunny himself. There's a lot of personality in the little fellow. Probably far more than in practically every other Nintendo character. Hey, I love Mario and Link, but neither says much, and their actions are usually straightforward. This guy is a chatterbox, and a good one at that!

Each time a new event takes place, the visitor is greeted immediately with a smile, a wave, and then about five to ten minutes of talk. He usually tosses out a free play afterwards, so think of it as either a "thank you" for listening, or as an apology for the wait. I've actually chuckled a few times. A few. It's not easy to make me laugh, though I do appreciate the effort... except when some unoriginal shithead responds with, "That's what she said!" Yuk yuk yuk.... sigh. I'm always expecting a standard (boring) reaction, if not a negative one, from others. When, instead, I'm told something along the lines of, "Hey, you don't have to pay squat while you're here! Come in, check for a free play, and leave if you want. I just like having someone to talk to," it's refreshing. At this moment, there's a celebration going on that includes two free plays for seven straight days. I play this on both of my handhelds, and Arcade Bunny has responded differently to each one. I intentionally do this when presented with dialogue choices, as well, but, here, he thanked me on my New 3DS for occasionally spending money, even if it was always towards the ten plays + theme bundles, then complimented me on my old 3DS for wisely remaining thrifty by relying solely upon the free plays. It's little details like that I associate most often with Nintendo. Even with something like this. Even with something built around the most unlikable genre of video games. 

If an upbeat lagomorph with a silver tongue isn't enough, there's also the gallery. Take the badges you've collected, make yourself a neat little something-or-other out of your Home Menu, then upload its image to Nintendo. They know you are not likely to dart around, whipping out your 3DS to others in public, so here's the alternative. I would have figured it to be just a board of pictures. "Look! I'm on the wall this month! Yay!" Again, Nintendo puts in the effort to have Arcade Bunny uniquely comment on each one and has him thank the sender by name. It might not seem like much to you, but I always associate Nintendo's need to feature stuff like this as a continuation of its stance on maintaining positive connectivity with the community, as it once did with family in mind.

For one's own curiosity, Badge Arcade does provide the player with a way to keep track of how many badges they've earned so far. I think this would have been odd if it wasn't included.

Then you find out it's just a series of bunny statues holding your collection book.
It's the thought that counts, I suppose... a diabolical thought!

I'm only compelled to blog about the badge arcade, because I don't think it deserves to be lumped together with the underhanded, money-grubbing lot that more closely relates to this sort of entertainment (Dungeon Keeper and All the Bravest, for example) just because it's P2P. Nintendo's doing what we all knew was eventually going to happen. I just wasn't expecting it to be this. Rather than paying to "win" at a specific game, Nintendo provides another opportunity for expression through customization, a thing Nintendo has been doing since... when?

Perhaps in 1995 with the whole "Play It Loud!" Game Boy campaign?

I originally believed Pokemon Shuffle was Nintendo's doing, and I was pretty agitated by it. Then, I corrected myself with an update and apologized. I still thought that was how Nintendo was going to eventually introduce itself to the P2P market. DLC for a quality title is one thing, but how could something that thrives solely upon charging the player for every little action they take be of any value? Well, I think Nintendo Badge Arcade shows potential, and I simply want to express my appreciation for the effort they put into crafting it. No guilt. No deception. No crushing defeats at the fins of an overpowering whale. I seriously expected MUCH worse. Still, many have already labeled Nintendo Badge Arcade as such with the lackluster reasoning: "It's aiming for your money through your children! Don't be fooled by its cute mascot!" Look, I know some parents are still not hip to the advanced technology of a 3DS, but Parental Controls on the thing are about as simple as they can be, and, as long as a person isn't stupid enough to share the PIN# with his/her kids, there shouldn't be any problems. I don't store money on my account, nor do I store my card information, and I don't even have kids! Years ago, I posted about how one's son or daughter could get around the restrictions of buying mature titles at a brick and mortar store. That's still true. Here, though, all you gotta do is NOT tell them the four digits to that PIN and don't make the answer to your secret question an obvious one. Standard precautions. That's it! Even if they get their hands on a eShop card behind your back, they still need that access to use it.

If customization isn't your thing, then tell people that. I've actually paid a little bit towards this in hopes of encouraging Nintendo to keep up with its level of quality. I'm not hooked on badges and themes. They're neat, and I am curious as to how they might be used later on, possibly with the NX, but I can live without them. I'm paying towards promoting this degree of character development, as is present with the antics of the game's mascot, and towards Nintendo's honest business practices.

 Don't compare Nintendo to EA, people. It deserves better than that.
Wait. Let me clarify. For right now, it deserves better than that. 

Like almost everyone else, I rather P2P and DLC didn't exist at all in the gaming industry, but Badge Arcade is a fair, realistic compromise. Let's give it credit for that.

Keep doing your thing, Nintendo.

Quit pissing me off, Shuffle.